005: I am the Plant Man

I am the plant man. One disadvantage of having mostly foreign friends is they all leave when a world ending pandemic arrives on your doorstep. An unexpected consequence is that I am now the plant man. My house is a greenhouse. It is not made of glass, it is simply green from wall to wall. I shall ride to the garden of eden glossy and green. I have, like many others, made a calendar to give myself a sense of routine. All it contains is green highlighter, listing the names of plants for when they need their water. And yes they have names. Ben and John and Jon and Holly and Stephen and never before did I realise how few names I can think of from the top of my head. I was offered a method of self watering with the first plant I was given, what need would I have for such a thing? It is only 2 plants, once a week, 5 minutes, I can still get work done just fine and water them as such. Now I sit and tiptoe around green hoping that I haven't lost one or another. I never thought I'd question "should a cactus soil be THAT dry?" Two dead plants sit next to them as motivation. A single bonzai tree, with brown leaves that you could convince yourself were just from the autumn if it wasn't March. They're the result of the only time I've ever let anyone else be responsible for my wards' care, and a stark reminder of the consequences of my negligence. So I am the plant man. Locked inside, not for fear of the death that awaits me outside, but the death that I shall return to should I abandon my post.

Written by: J